Patience please… I haven’t disappeared

So… It’s been a minute since I posted…i apologize to myself and to those that read my crazy antics and opinions so far. I could blog mobile but it doesn’t feel the same like it does from my laptop…

I shall return very soon… Hopefully this week. Smooches for now…

Food, Glorious Food… My Love and Struggle.

I know it’s been a few days since my last post but I decided to take a lil break since I started out pretty strong –blogging back to back for a minute. I figure there is no better way to begin again than to discuss my love affair with food. Yes… Love affair… Relationship…sometimes Love/Hate…either way you describe it, I am passionate about food and eating.

Growing up in the south, food is the center of every life event. Yes, I said that right…the food is the center not the event itself. No?? Ok…peep this: To celebrate a marriage- Food at the reception. To morn the loss of a loved one-Food at the repass. To celebrate a baby is coming-Food at the baby shower. To celebrate getting a new home-Food at the house warming. To celebrate a birthday- Food at the party or go out to eat. I mean, every major life event revolves around eating. Even with how you are feeling. Some people eat when they are happy, others eat when they are sad. Food is life.

I have been in a struggle the past few years regarding eating better/healthier. When my Mom was diagnosed with cancer years ago, as a family, we decided that we needed to make better choices. It was hard but my Mom’s disease forced us into a more health conscious path. Also, as I became more “enlightened” about who I am as a melanated, African descended woman, that too played a part with how I treat my body and what I put into it. Pork was the first thing to go. It’s been quite a few years since pork was a main part of my diet. Now, I’m not going to lie to y’all… I still struggle with letting bacon go. I mean, damn it, bacon is one of the best smelling food items this side of heaven. Folger’s coffee think they are the best part of waking up. Ummmm… Nah. It’s waking up the smell of bacon coming from the kitchen! Umph, umph, umph. 🙌 And I’m sorry, no matter how you slice it, fry it, or bake it turkey bacon does not compare. Y’all keep me lifted up in prayer about bacon because it’s a spiritual warfare. Lolol

Eating beef was next on my list a couple years after that. I have never been just a steak kinda girl anyway so big cuts of red meat were not that important to me. Not to mention ground beef and ground chuck were always chewy so I welcomed ground turkey with open arms. Every once in a while, I will crave a Tops cheeseburger, yes it has to be from Tops BBQ. I found out a few months back that they offer turkey patties!! *breaks out into a COGIC run* Letting go of beef, not a biggie.

It’s my ultimate goal and a challenge from my daughter to become a full time pescetarian. What is that you ask? From an article I found via Google, “Pesce, the Italian word for fish, is being associated with people who add aquatic animals to a vegetarian diet. Pescetarians (sometimes called pesco-vegetarians) eat freshwater and saltwater fish and shellfish in addition to the fruits, vegetables, grains, legumes, eggs, and dairy vegetarians typically consume.” Which is highly and completely doable for the most part if not for one animal. No, not turkey, i could give turkey up with no problem. I am talking about the barn yard pimp- the chicken. What would the African Americans do without chicken? I’m sure white people would be upset if there was no more chicken, but I’m almost sure there would be mass hysteria amongst my people if chicken ever ceased to exist. A lot of our diet revolves around chicken. Baked, boiled, bbq’d, sauteed, smothered and fried, chicken is a staple. You can’t tell me nothing. Taking a bite of a piece of fried chicken, fresh, season, greasy and hot, is one the best things you’ll ever put in your mouth. My mouth watering now thinking about it. Mane, I love chicken. But you know, at the rate things are going with poultry farms and all the things they do, to not only chickens but all other farm raised animals, may end my relationship with chicken and turkey a lot sooner than later. It’s hard to break a 36 year habit but for my health, I’m willing to make that sacrifice. I have been trying to ween myself off slowly. And I have to give myself credit for making better choices for my family when I grocery shop as well. Not so much as from the aspect of eating meat, but we don’t buy soda and a bunch a junk food. Every so often a bag of chips, a pack of cookies. But keeping those things stocked, you won’t find it in my house.

So before I end this, I have to tell y’all about this dream I have had more than once. This is how deep my relationship with food goes… Lol Ok… In the dream, I passed away and opened my eyes in heaven. I was in line waiting on my turn for judgement. When I did my review, things went very well. There were life mistakes and a few wild moments that made me shame faced 😳 but all in all, it was a good and decent life. So I get the clearance to move ahead but get stopped by this voice that said,  “Before you enter eternal paradise, you must first ask for forgiveness to all of the animals you have ever eaten.” Y’all……😨😨😨 my heart dropped. I was thinking of all the animals I ever ate, I wasn’t going to ever get in heaven. So I start going down the line and started apologizing to all the cows, then pigs. Next were turkeys. From there, it was what seemed like a football field of chickens. It took so long. Then I moved to tanks and tanks of swimming creatures. Fish, crab, shrimp, lobster,etc. But toward the end of my food line, I heard them before I saw them. In horror, I moved to the next containers of animals and OMG! Dogs and cats! I passed out. Then I woke up… 😂😂😂😂 After that dream, I stopped eating anything that wasn’t shrimp from the chinese food restaurants. Lolol

The saying is, you are what you eat. So I’m making a better effort to be more like fruit than a pig. And I definitely don’t want to be a bitch. Lol

 

I’m sick of the “Kar-trash-ians”…Why are they so relevant???

I know y’all have seen the whole fiasco with Rob Kardashian and Blac Chyna. Smh Is this shit getting out of hand or what?!? So the story is Rob got upset because Blac Chyna sent him pictures/video of her with another dude. Instead of confronting her directly about it, he decides to go to social media (Instagram and Twitter) to spill his guts about how she ain’t shit but a hoe and a gold digger. He included the video and nude pics of her. Ok… So my question is what did he think would happen? It would make her look bad? Ummm. No. It only made him look weak and pitiful. We already know what Blac Chyna’s m.o. was. I don’t think anybody believed that she was really trying to be with him. I mean come on. She all about that 💰💰💰. And honestly, what she did to him ain’t no different than what his damn sisters have doing for years. These damn Kardashian girls have brought more black men down than the justice system. Lol Y’all know it.

It is crazy to me that a sex tape of Kim Kardashian with Ray J is what changed the game for all them in 2003. I mean, i saw the tape, I wasn’t all that impressed. 😒 And I know who their Daddies are and I’m sure there was some notoriety that came with that but y’all know we knew nothing about Kim or any of her siblings until after the sex tape. They capitalized on the attention and ran with it. And I don’t understand why people are so obsessed with them and their lives. Other than being well known for running through all the rappers, the NFL, NBA, MLB, NAACP, UNCF, ABCDEFG and any other organization of young rich black men, what do these bitches do? From what i can tell they appropriate everything that black women have been doing since the beginning of time and they have gotten rich from it. Not only that, black people are completely enthralled with these people. WHY???? I don’t get it. And don’t get me wrong, I’m not hating but I’m trying to figure out why people, black women especially, idolize them and black men are looking at them like their vaginas are gold plated. It’s ridiculous to me. If anything, men should be running away when they see them coming. Every man they get involved with goes from being successful to completely deflated. Y’all see what happened to Lamar and Kanye. I don’t care what y’all say, the movie “Get Out” was about the Kardashian family. Lol I know I’m not the only one that thinks that.

I can’t really hate their hustle but what pisses me off is that black women get completely trashed and looked at negatively for the same shit these females have gotten rich from. Now that’s some bullshit. I know my blogging about it means nothing to them but dammit I had to vent. Ugh they get on my nerves…from the Momma on down. Anyway, moving on to more important things. I’m good now…. 😜

Relationship Rhetoric

I have decided to call my posts about dating, love, relationships, man/woman situationships, “Relationship Rhetoric.” It will be my opinions and maybe even advice on certain subject matters that I have experienced. I mean I can’t tell you or advise on shit I don’t know or been through. So here we go with the first one….

 

 

I saw these memes on Instagram and they really resonated with me. One is a good word of caution to the brothas and the other is good advise for my sistahs. I decided that this is a subject that I am quite familiar with and wanted to give my view on:

TOPIC: A Man and His Time: He ain’t never THAT busy./A Woman and Her Worth: Don’t be no fool, Sugah.

If you are like me, you have been in quite a few relationships-good, bad, and/or ugly. The one thing that I was taught and learned first hand about men is no matter how busy a man is, he will make time IF he is really interested. No matter his career, his obligations, his kid(s), or his family; a man will make time. That is a fact. I think where a lot of (not all) men mess up, is that they do not communicate transparently about what they really have going on. Here is a list of things that I wish men would say off the top, after he expresses his genuine interest, to set the stage of what a woman should expect:

  • I have a kid(s) that I have joint custody/spend a lot of time with.
  • My job is really demanding and my time may be limited but I will communicate when I can.
  • I want to get to know you, but I’m dating another/some other women too.
  • Technically, I’m still married but I am actively going through a divorce. (And be able to show proof.)
  • I’m saving/working towards a particular goal, so my finances are limited.
  • I’m still affected by a previous relationship so things have to move slowly even if we click on all cylinders.

Now this is just an example of what I wish a man would say on the FIRST date to allow a woman to make a decision on if she wants to pursue things with him or not. I mean let’s be honest Sistahs, you pretty much already know if a man is someone you would get the groove on with upon first meeting. Now that’s not to say you would do it the same night, or maybe you would. To each is own. Just make sure it’s safe. Then again you could make him wait up to 90 days to really get to know him…whatever your moral compass is, you already know that he could get it from the first conversation. Tell me I’m lying? Umm hmm…I know better. I’ve been there, done that. The gag is it all falls on the words and actions of that man if/when he gets to reach into that cookie jar. LOL

I think the things that I listed are probably some of the main things that men have going on that could potentially be the reason that a woman loses interest if he is spending his time doing those things versus spending time with her. I think it is important that a man understands that if he is transparent and honest about what he has going on, there are some things that you think a woman won’t deal with that she actually would. I mean, Brothas, come on, if you got some serious shit going on, tell that woman that. The only thing she can do is say, Yes I can deal or No I can’t. And I bet at some point, Sistahs, we all have said of a man we were dating, “If he had just told me that to begin with, I could have governed myself accordingly!” One of the things that I could not stand when I was dating is a man not giving me the option to choose what I could or couldn’t deal with. I can understand working, being with kids, dealing with financial strain, or whatever- but say that. Don’t get so fixated on having to put on a front to be impressive over and beyond being real.

Now with that being said, if a man is seriously trying to get to know you, he will do just that. If a man is really trying to having something substantial, he will do whatever he can to make sure that happens. One thing an older woman told me, whatever a man feel is important, he gon set time for it. If he doesn’t, it’s not important. Period. A man looking to be exclusive is going to pursue the shit out of you. His time may be limited because of obligations, but his interest definitely won’t be. What I mean by that is that he will find out and pay attention to the things you like to do, eat, gifts you like to receive, the kind of music you like, the books you have been wanting, the flowers you love and make that his way of keeping you engaged. Now, I will say this, you have to be careful and recognize if he is genuine or he is just running game to GTD. (You know- Get The Draw’rs!! Keep up nah, I’m trying to help ya! LOL) You got some slick ones out there that will wine and dine until they get what they want then they are gone. Trust your gut, Sistahs. It won’t lead you wrong. Stop telling that little voice to shut up because it’s not what you want to hear. I know, I have done the shit. We have to stop telling ourselves that we can change a man’s character flaws. We can’t. Only he can do that. More often than not, what you see is what you get. A man will only change if HE wants to, it won’t have anything to do with you. He may say, “I’ll change for you Baby” but that’s bullshit. He has to want to change for himself whether he is with you or not. But that is another post for another day…

You know what burned my biscuits more than anything after dating a man for a while? Giving him all the time and opportunity to really let me know where he wants things to go but he doesn’t, then I move on to later find out why he wasn’t able to fully be all in with me. Seriously? That was so crazy to me. After all the time that was spent, I’m with someone else, now you realize how much love you had for me. Naw bruh. Sorry. Like the meme says, brothas, you can’t trip when a woman has moved on and doing the things with someone else that she wanted to do with you. You missed out. I admonish any man to just be honest and transparent about your situation. Like I said before, you would be surprised what a woman is willing to deal with. Give her the choice to decide.

Sistahs,  I will end by saying this…know your worth. Not only that be worth what you are looking to attract. If you know that you are not ready to be “found”, turn your location off and focus on getting you together. Now if you find yourself dealing with a man that you are always having to make excuses for that you don’t really know what’s really going on with him, take a step back and evaluate your options. Either you can deal with it or you can’t. Always keep in mind that a man that is genuinely interested in you, will make sure you know it by spending his time AND attention on you- even if it is shared with everything else going on in his life. Men are predatory by nature- if they really want you, they gon’ show some sign as the old folks would say. Don’t waste your time wasting time. Don’t settle. Don’t assume. Pay attention to what a man does as well as what he says. As Maya Angelou penned, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them.” If a man is not making you a priority, Honey you ain’t one. It is okay to say, “Aight then Homie, you take care, I’m out.” Sometimes, it be’s that way. But life goes on and so will you…

 

 

 

 

 

Does America REALLY need a President right now?

I have been trying not to get political with my posts, but I did promise that my blog would be about any and everything. So here, on the cusp of the 4th of July, America’s birthday, it gives me grief and leaves me utterly disgusted thinking about the Leader of these United States. Donald Trump. SMH *sigh* Yay, America, right? Hell naw…

In my 37 years of living (even though I am only 36), I have been through some interesting Presidents. Ronald W. Reagan, George H.W. Bush, William J. (Bill) Clinton, George W. Bush and Barack H. Obama. I have to admit that I have never completely agreed with any one President, not even Obama. They all did some uncouth things that made me question how they could sign their names to an “Executive Order” that could jeopardize the very lively hood of the people. However, one thing I can say about each one of these previous Presidents-they all displayed some level of tact in reference to the Office of the President. NOW?? OMG!! This can’t be life!

I have never in all my life seen a man, that is supposed to be the leader of the free world, act so ridiculously childish and neurotic. Starting from his campaign to become President where he admitted to “grabbing pussies”, making fun of the disabled, spewing anti-Semitic and racist rhetoric that has completely divided this country. I know that I shouldn’t be surprised at the level of racism that still exist in 2017, but it seems to me that since this idiot started campaigning, it has really escalated to a level I have never seen before. It is really crazy right now. I will say this though, and I’m sure a lot of my comrades will agree, we are not our ancestors. I warn any Trump supporter of this, “Don’t let your President make you catch these hands.” You can chant “Make America Great Again” all you want to but don’t get slick at the mouth. These days ain’t the old days. Beleah dat! Ok…I digress…

So today, on CNN, I saw that Trump is preparing for the G20 summit where he will meeting with other world leaders, one specifically being Vladimir Putin. Ok…that’s interesting. The other story that I caught up on was that the White House is requesting that every state provide detailed information about each registered voter. Ummm…say whaaa? So of course my brain started to analyze a few things. So Trump has been saying that he has not “colluded” with Russia, even though the same cannot be said about his family member, friends and former employees. He has had no dealings with Putin/Russia and says he doesn’t even know Putin. So why is it that this administration wants to have each state provide all of this information about all of their voters at this time? Sooo…ya’ll just gon’ email all of this shit as an attachment right straight to Russia, huh? I mean…that’s what I think. It just seems extremely suspicious to me.

And why, WHY, is he already having fundraisers for his campaign for his second term in 2020?? *rolling my eyes so hard I almost fell asleep* This dude is the true definition of narcissistic, egotistical, selfish, greedy, stupid, ignorant, uneducated, immature, senile, sloppy, and ridiculous. I’m so ashamed to be from America right now. I wish all of the racist white supremacists that always scream that black people need to go back to Africa would start a GoFundMe or some kind of fund to really make it happen. I would be on the first boat smoking straight to Ghana. I know some of ya’ll not with that but if they want to send me on an all expense paid one way trip to the land of my ancestors…I’m gone!

I still can’t believe that this man is the President. I mean, I really can’t believe that this buffoon is who represents the American people on an international level. Ya’ll know what…It’s kind of like that crazy uncle that lives in the back room of your grandmomma house that only come out to go to church on a special occasion when there is a visiting church and then it’s time for testimony service, he get up and talk about some of the craziest, don’t make no sense shit you ever heard? That’s Donald Trump. He is the crazy back room uncle that is embarrassing all of America.

After having a President as cool and classy as Barack Obama, it is like a bad joke to have this man be the one that got elected. And if somebody don’t take his phone and throw it in the ocean to keep him from tweeting, OMG, they better. Don’t make no sense how stupid it is for the President to be using his platform and power to bully, spew propaganda and demean people using 140 characters or less on Twitter. It is absolutely asinine.

I mean, damn, can’t we have some kind of recall or something? Can’t America not just say, “Ay mane, we messed up, let’s start the whole election over?” With everything going on, I don’t think we need a President right now. America need to break up with Trump and be single for a while. Shit.

 

BET’s new show Tales by Irv Gotti. Here’s my two cents…

I just finished watching the premiere of Irv Gotti’s new show, Tales. This first episode was called “F*ck Da Police” after the iconic NWA song. So…the show opens with a young man wearing a hoodie, back pack on his back…nothing too out of the ordinary. It kind of put you in the mind of what Trayvon Martin was wearing the night he was murdered. He is leaving out of his house and gets approached by two police officers. In this exchange, the police are being very aggressive and treat this young man like a criminal for no reason at all. They push him to the ground, he injures his head. He asked them to help him and they just look at him with so much hate in their eyes. As he asks them to help him and attempts to get up, they scream at him to get back down. When he makes it to his feet, they take turns shooting him in the chest. Then they watch him die. My daughter and I were just sitting there with our mouths wide open because the young man that was shot down like a dog was white. The police officers were black. I. WAS. SPEECHLESS.

The entire show was based on a reversal of worlds so to speak. The white people were all in a ‘hood called “The Jungle” and it was very restrictive. They actually had to have passes in order to be in other parts of their city. Not only that, they had to adhere to a curfew. I’m not going to tell the whole show but I admonish you to please check it out for yourself. If this first show is reflective of the episodes to come, I’m already impressed.

My immediate reaction after watching it was, “Yeah!! Woooo!! Now white people will have a glimpse of what black people have been going through.” Then I thought, “Are the really going to care?” You would have to be living in a bubble not to feel somewhat affected by this show. But will they? I mean…I’m black and I almost started to feel bad for the white people that were being treated how black people are really treated. I mean…these black people were horrible to them. LOL It was definitely shocking to watch the roles reversed. And I almost felt bad…almost.

One thing I’m glad they made a point of was when an unarmed white person was killed, there was a plead from the media for any one that would think of protesting to be peaceful and remain calm. Familiar huh? The white people got tired of their people being treated like shit, being killed with no consequence to the black police officers. But you know what ended up happening? They retaliated violently against the black police force. What was even more crazy is that none of the black officers that were getting beat down tried to kill any of the white mob. Now that is how I know it was a tv show because in real life, had that been black people, the police would have been pepper spraying and rubber bulleting the shit out of people if not killing them one by one.

I hope that the white people that watched felt some kind of way watching it. I hope they felt a twinge of guilt and were uncomfortable seeing “their” people go through all of the things that black people go through on a daily basis. I hope they were able to FINALLY put themselves in our shoes to understand why we are so pissed off about what has been happening with our people since the 1600’s. I hope they said to themselves, “OMG, is that what really happens to black people?” Yes. It is. Every day.

I hope that this show helps white people to understand why we are so damn mad about the countless number of black bodies that have been rolled away in body bags at the very hand of the people that are meant to protect and serve us. And no I don’t want to hear that shit about “black on black” crime. That whole narrative is a crock of bull dookie because just like you have black on black crime, you have white on white crime, latino on latino crime, etc. What happens more often than not is that the majority of crimes committed amongst a group of people is by people of the same race as them. No, it is not a good thing that anybody is killing each other, but let’s not single out black people on that topic, ok?? But one thing for sure, when we kill each other, somebody going to jail. It seems like when the police do it, they get a paid vacation. That’s crazy. But I digress from that. I’m supposed to be talking about the show…

So, what did I think about Tales’ first episode? To me…it was a stroke of genius. To be able to put white people in black people’s shoes and show them themselves?? It was ground breaking. My mind was blown. I loved every minute and will be tuning in regularly. I hope that Tales is finally that thing that gets America talking about racism and white privilege and supremacy in this country. You cannot fix a problem if you won’t admit it exists. Will this show break the wall of ignorance and remove the veil from so many white people’s minds and eyes that they will actually see that there is a problem? Based on what I watched tonight, it most definitely could. Bravo to the entire cast and crew. It was awesome!

 

 

 

 

Something I heard on the radio about fathers and daughters…

So… I was listening to the D. L. Hughley show yesterday and they were talking about who should be the disciplinarian for their daughter- the father or mother. Of course, people called in with varying responses as to who should be the discipline their and why. D. L. made a point, based on somebody’s statistics, that a father disciplining his daughter would make her more susceptible to being with men that may be abusive. That should would feel that it is okay to be hit by a man because her father did it. That it would be the norm for her. I don’t know who these statisticians are but that’s some bullshit.

First of all, there is a big difference between discipline and abuse. Growing up, my Daddy was very present even though my parents divorced when I was in middle school. I don’t know if it was the authority of him being “Daddy” or what but my Dad’s voice would make me cry when he was fussing. My whole soul would be crushed if he raised his voice. There were only two times that I can recall that my dad had to whoop me. Once for fighting with my sister when we were supposed to be going to sleep, which was not fair because she was a super meddler and I did not like her feet on me. The other time, I guess I really can’t call it whoopin. We were on our way home from church one Sunday and I was sitting in my favorite spot right behind my Daddy while he was driving. My daddy had a cardinal rule that a young lady should not pop gum. He said that’s what street walkers do. So, I was sitting behind him and I can’t remember if we were talking about anything or just singing to the radio. I made the grave mistake of chewing and popping gum right in his left ear. I wasn’t even thinking about it. All of a sudden, all I could see was 💥💢💫. My daddy had back hand slapped me right in the mouth. I think it hurt my feelings more than my mouth. But from that day on, I did not pop no more damn gum. Lol

For me, having my Daddy present and his disciplining of me the few times he did had no impact on me being with men that were abusive. I knew my Daddy loved me and that he had my best interest at heart. Not only that, he taught me about “the game” and how to defend myself. If in the event I found myself in the unfortunate situation of a man trying me, oh, he may win but he ain’t gone come out unscathed. That’s for damn sure. I ain’t no easy win and I think my level of “I ain’t scared of you, Bruh” is probably a lot higher thanks to the very head strong and feisty women in my family especially my grandma, Limmie Lee Lowery. (She is a whole ‘nother blog post!! RIP Ma!) My dad would always say, “Can’t no nigga ever put his hands on you. If he try it, call me! Ain’t no mane putting his hand on my daughter!” My daddy… Smh Straight gangsta. Lol But I knew he was dead serious.

I know my experience growing up is probably a lot different than other girls. Unfortunately, there are situations where discipline is without question abuse. A man beating her his daughter in a way to demean, belittle and prove himself to be a bigger man because of his own insecurities is unacceptable. More often than not, the mother of that daughter is a victim of the abuse also. So very sad. Thankfully, I have zero experience of that kind of life and I am grateful for it.

I think that it is very important for a girl to have the hand of her father as a guiding force for her life. The absence of his presence I think leaves the window open for her to be subject to men that may try to take advantage of that absence. A father’s loving discipline is a necessity if you ask me. It works in conjunction to the nurturing and teaching from her mother. The balance of both are essential. More often than not, the daughters that grow up without their father’s guidance and discipline fall into that mindset of “I don’t need no man.” When the truth of the matter is, women do need men. The first one being her father.  To all my brothers out there that may read this, if you have daughters, be present. Love them. Raise them. Get on they ass when they wrong. Teach them the ways of the world and about the things men will try. You, my brothers, make the difference…always have.

 

 

Thank you Momma…

June 24, 2016. Around 7am. At age 56, my beautiful mother passed away. My entire life completely changed. A piece of my heart left with her. I have not been the same since that day.

I could talk about how hard-working she was. I could talk about how beautiful she was. I could tell of the countless number of times that she was always there when I needed her. Not only for me but anybody that called upon her.  How patient, sweet, and funny she was. How she was the most giving and gracious woman I have ever known. I miss her so much…

I decided not to blog on the 1st anniversary of her passing to spend quality and reflective time with her most prized possession, my daughter, whom she affectionately called “KenniBoo.” In true fashion of the things my mother loved, we decided to go eat seafood and get ice cream. We lovingly reflected on her memory while we ate. We laughed and joked about the facial expressions she would make or certain things she would say. No tears. Just smiles. I am proud of how we have been able to talk about her without crying. Well moreso me because that little girl of mine has been a real G this past year. I asked her how she felt about it being a year since her “MeeMee” passed away. She looked me in the eye and said through a big smile, “I’m fine. Me and my MeeMee were straight!” 😊 As much as I would like to take full credit for how resilient and strong this child is, I really can’t. I’m more of a cry baby. She is definitely a reflection of her “MeeMee.”

As I not only reflect on how my Mom’s presence influenced and shaped my child, I look further back on my own childhood. I could thank my Momma for so many things that she did for me-really she did everything. She taught me real life lessons that I would need in this life. She is the reason why I have been able to have a level of grace, strength and resilience of my own. Not only did she show me how to be a woman, she instructed me on the lost art of being a lady. She taught me that a lady didn’t have to let it all hang out to be desirable or sexy. That you didn’t need to be the loudest mouth or the loosest in the room to attract attention from the opposite sex. A lady can command a room full of people with cool, quiet confidence. My Momma taught me that. Now those that know me will attest that I’m a good mix of those things from my Mom plus my Dad’s extroverted, talk to anybody, life of the party characteristics. I have to say that the stars aligned perfectly with me being born a Virgo- the introverted extrovert of the zodiac.

My Momma taught me not only how to carry myself but how to be a woman that would one day become a wife/mother. I don’t know that I could ever thank her for those pep talks and good ol fashioned “fussings” that I could only give a response of “Yes Ma’am” or “You’re right Momma.” It’s so ironic how I would roll my eyes (to myself of course-I ain’t no fool) when she would give me a tongue lashing on keeping house and taking care of a man. I used to tell her how old school some of that stuff was. She would say, “Alright, you’ll see.” If I could have given her a dollar for every single time she was right, she would have been filthy rich. That’s one thing I love about growing up Southern. Yes, you are taught to be strong, independent-minded and responsible but you are also taught, given the right man, how to be submissive and allow a man to be the head of the house. Fix his plate, love him completely, make a house a home, knowing what battles to fight. My Momma told me being submissive don’t mean being a doormat. Given the legacy of the women that came up before me, I would never be that. Don’t get it twisted, I’m a lady however we grew up in North Memphis which means if and when I ever needed to, I can and will throw these hands!! As my Momma would sometimes quote Tupac, “I ain’t no killa,  but don’t push me…” LOL Yes, she really did say that.

As much as I wish my Momma was still here physically, I would never want that to be at the expense of living with sickness and disease, suffering for years and years. She didn’t deserve that kind of existence. As selfless as she was, I would never be so selfish about her life- willing her to hold on for me.

The only regret I have is that she didn’t tell us her cancer had returned in 2011. (She was diagnosed with a rare lung cancer in 2004. She had been in remission since 2005.) I guess I can’t really blame her for the choice she made, it was her life. She lived it the way she wanted to. I respect her for that.

One life lesson that I will hold on to until my very last day is to live life to the fullest because no matter how long you live, that time goes by faster than you think. Enjoy life, steer clear of drama and do the very best you can with the time you are given.

I heard/hear you, Momma. Your words didn’t go in one ear and out the other. I’m taking everything you said to heart and dedicate the rest of my life to living. Travelling, eating, enjoying my family and friends, enjoying the simple and priceless things that money can’t buy, creating memories that will last forever.

I felt so lost when you transitioned. Thank you for immediately becoming my guide. It’s crazy how clear I can hear you. Thank you for loving me unconditionally and always having my back until the very moment you took your last breath on this side.

For every hug, kiss, lesson, worry, dollar, minute, sacrifice, fussing, and prayer; for my existence – Thank you Momma…

 

 

 

Me?? I’m an 80’s Baby

So here is a little bit about me that should let you know my level of “good common ass sense. ” I’m an 80’s baby!! 1980 to be exact! Back when we had grandparents that were “grand” parents, not these “I ain’t baby sitting shit” Glam-Mas that’s knocking down the club doors before their kids. A time when sleep overs at your Auntee house and house parties were still a regular occurrence. It’s so funny because I’m old enough to remember having to be in the house before the street light came on. Don’t get it twisted, I’m yet young enough to get my “twerk” on…Bow!! 😉 Ask about me!! Lol

Thinking about these kids nowadays, it really seems like this new generation is crazy as hell!! Anybody born after 1990-just don’t know shit about life. You know what I blame?? The damn music. I especially blame these crazy looking new fangled, can barely talk rappers. Just a shame!

Being born in the 80’s means that I spent my formative years growing up during the 90’s. The wonderful 90’s. Why were the 90’s so dope you ask?? 90’s R&B!!! Jodeci, H-Town, Silk, Shai, 112, SWV, R. Kelly, and on and on. Now alot of my elders would argue that 60’s/70’s soul was the best music. I can admit that those songs from then are still very poignant and timeless. But it’s something about that 90’s R&B that I keep it in rotation now!!

Not just the music, but the TV shows. Oh… The TV shows!! Good, black shows that showed us in a positive light… Working, loving and living. (Big Ups to Bill Cosby!!!) But now?? Reality TV. Smh. The curse of reality TV seems to only portray black women as gold digging video hoes with fake asses that fight all the time and black men that only rap, produce, play sports, cheat and lie to the above mentioned black women. Just a hot damn mess!! Need to start a movement to get that dumb shit taken off air. Y’all know what shows I’m talking about… 😒

I’m grateful to have been born in the 80’s. Thinking back on those days brings a smile to my face. It’s so funny how we always said we would never say the shit our parents and grandparents said like ” I sho’ll miss the good ol days!” Now in 2017, I hear folks my age saying it and all I can do is just shake my head in agreement thinking, “Mane…You ain’t lyin”.

Here goes nothing…

Wow… I’m blogging. Who would have thunk?! Lol

I decided to start this for a variety of reasons. Mainly because I’m a Virgo and I have a tendency to internalize my feelings… all the time. All. The. Time. I’m surprised that there isn’t an overwhelming number of spontaneous combustion deaths amongst Virgo people. We can hold stuff in better than most for sure.

So…I have always had a love for words and writing, so this is right up my alley. My posts will probably range from current events, politics, what’s on my mind, relationships, being the mother of a tween, my day to day happenings and of course food! Lol Food is life!! So pretty much any and everything I feel is blog worthy. Oh… And just to be clear… I cuss a little bit… You’ve been cautioned. 😁

Not really sure if anyone will read any of this but I can say just composing this intro is making me feel pretty good already.

Why “Pretty Brown Virgo Nerd” as a site name? Well because that’s me all wrapped up in four little words!! Self explanatory, right!? Of course it is…

I’m looking forward to see what this will become…

Day one.